16yr. old dropped due to pregnancy-why would Compassion do this?

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Why+would+Compassion+drop+my+sponsorship+of+10+years+to++my+16+year+old+girl+who+is+now+pregnant?+Doesn't+she+need+our+compassion+more+than+ever?!+++++++++++
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Carol Sage

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Posted 2 years ago

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Debbie Skacel Tovar

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I know from spending several years in groups with other sponsors on the internet that you certainly aren't the first to have a pregnant Compassion kid.  Compassion wouldn't just drop her from the program.  They do everything possible to help these girls and their babies.  If there is a CSP (program for the Moms and babies), they might be put into that, but from what I have heard, they are usually left in the regular programs.  I even sponsored a girl after her baby was born, and had a great writing relationship with her for the time she was in Compassion.  When Compassion called you, they should have stated why they dropped her.  I would assume that it was because she wasn't attending.  Many times these girls are embarrassed to go back to the Compassion project, and while Compassion will go and seek these girls out, many times they know how much their life has changed, and never come back.  I am sure you will get an answer on here from Compassion has to why she was dropped, but in the future if you ever lose a child and don't feel you have a satisfactory answer, just call Compassion, and they will let you know what is on the file as to why the child left.
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William Blair

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I had two girls I sponsored get pregnant. One left the program on her own and fortunately for her the father of her baby did not leave her. The letter I received from Compassion stated that she and her baby's father were receiving counseling from the pastor of the partner church on his own time. The members of the partner church raised money to buy what she needed for herself and her baby. Talk about being there for them in their time of need.

The other one stayed in the program and graduated. The father of the baby left her and she has her family,the church and the community there to support her in every way. I was able to meet her and her family on two individual trips. On the first trip she was pregnant and was afraid to tell me. Maybe she thought I would stop my sponsorship. That never would happen. Between the first and second visit she had her son and got to see him. I hope to see them again. Anyone who would stop sponsoring because of that has no business being a sponsor.

This is something Compassion can tell new sponsors about and what they do for the girls when this happens. We have no idea what it is like to be in their world. The pressure to conform to the world is much worse in other countries especially for those who live in such poverty.
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Carol Sage

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Actually I questioned the Compassion Rep asking did she choose to leave or did Compassion choose to drop her. Unfortunately the rep's answer was Compassion dropped her. Now I have no way of contacting her which I want to do. I can and do pray for her and her baby.
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William Blair

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They will check with the country office to get more information. I never heard of them dropping any sponsor child because of pregnancy. Monday being Memorial Day they will post here Tuesday.
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Sarah, Sponsor and Donor Relations, Social Media

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Debbie, William, and Teresa, thank you so much for sharing your experiences with Carol and for explaining as much as you could while we weren't in the office. We appreciate you! Carol, I am deeply sorry that you are no longer able to sponsor Carolina though Compassion :(. Like these three knowledgeable sponsors mentioned, our staff encourages pregnant girls to stay in the program as long as possible, but many times they can feel self conscious about continuing or they want to prepare for having a child. In Carolina's case, either she or her parents were not complying with guidelines set in place by Compassion. Though the comments do not  specifically say which guidelines were not being followed, my assumption would be that she wasn't attending as often as she was supposed to. When we notice something going on with the child that can lead to them leaving the program, our staff does their best to encourage them to stay. In Carolina's case, the issue wasn't resolved and we had to stop her benefits. I am praying for Carolina and her family as they welcome this precious baby into the world. By dates, she should be very close to her due date if she hasn't already given birth. Carol, I am so sorry you weren't given the opportunity to write a final letter to Carolina, but I know the letters you did write to her will be cherished for many years to come. I hope she will also share your letters with her child and that they will hold hope for both of them :). I am also praying that she continue to seek after the Lord, finding joy in Him on a daily basis.
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catnielson

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Why can't you give a more specific answer as to why she was dropped? I think sponsors should also be able to send one final letter. Why can't they do this?
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Teresa Dawn

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^Compassion's policy is that they CAN if it's possible for them.  Maybe when your child had a baby she moved out of the area to live with the baby's father so they don't know where to deliever it.  This is very likely the reason she would have stopped attending and been dropped for low attendence too for example.  Compassion doesn't always know the specific reasons and they can't go chasing after kids and force them to tell them why they don't attend or something but they do tell us what they know and let us write final letters when possible as I've experienced many times.
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Teresa Dawn

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My 14 year old had a baby and when I asked (while she was still pregnant) if she could stay Compassion told me they'd check because it varied from project to project.  THey said that some projects ask them to leave because they have a CSP attached and enroll them there instead and then the baby is sponsored, but others don't and let the kids stay.  When they heard back from the project, they told me that my girl was in a project that would keep her enrolled, but for me to be prepared for her to leave on her own as many teenaged parents were too busy to keep coming to the project and so they'd quit.  Last I heard my girl is still in the project, but I haven't heard from her since she gave birth 5 months ago, so I guess we'll see what happens.  I hope she stays.
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Ruth Solomon

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I've sponsored many girls through Compassion for many years and none that I know about had early pregnancies. I realize now this was unusual because two of my other sponsored teen girls, who are not sponsored through Compassion, are pregnant. One is 15 and one is 16. In both cases, they were dropped from their sponsorship programs. I talked to one organization who told me that pregnant girls were re-classified as 'adults' so they can't stay as 'sponsor kids'. I believe that they will start getting maternal health check-ups and baby assistance through different programs of these organizations though, and not just abandoned. I am not sure what Compassion's policies are towards pregnant sponsor girls but I'd like to find out.

I'm finding out how emotionally hard it is to deal with pregnancies in my sponsor girls. It's frustrating to think of how their lives will change, their education broken, and the likelihood of becoming single mothers in a continuing cycle of poverty. Both girls received Christian teaching but fell into the trap anyway. They will give birth to beautiful babies - and that's a blessing, but there will be a hard price to pay in the long run. God help them.
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William Blair

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God will help. As I said in an earlier post the pastor of the partner church on his own time counsels my former sponsor child and the members had given her all she needed for her baby. In her case the father of the baby didn't leave her like the other sponsor child I had experienced her child's father left. Both have support of the church. So God is in this. Look at what Jesus said to the woman at the well and the woman caught in adultery.
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Debbie Skacel Tovar

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Ruth, as I mentioned, me being in the Our Compassion group (an old online group), and now the facebook Compassion group, I know from experience that many girls have stayed in Compassion during being pregnant and after the baby is born.  I would really assume that this was a case of her not attending the program any longer.  It's unfortunate that the person on the phone just said she was 'dropped' (actually Carol didn't really say how the phone conversation went--usually more information is given if it's there when they call you).   I am sure Tuesday morning, one of the ladies at Compassion will come up with an answer.  I have heard of cases where they try to get the girl back into the program (or as mentioned if there is a CSP--mom and baby program), they might put them in that, but I have never heard of a case where it's a 'you are pregnant, you are out of here' policy with Compassion.  
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Ruth Solomon

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I've had 3 teen pregnant girls in total over decades of sponsoring, including the 2 currently pregnant. They were from 3 different Christian organizations, not Compassion though, and all three were dropped. In 2 cases, the girls lied to and tried to deceive the overseeing (caring) missionaries about their pregnancy, which made a difficult situation worse. I would have continued to sponsor the girls anyway but didn't get to choose. One of them I had sponsored almost 9 years so it hurt when she was dropped last week. If Compassion handles things differently, that's good to know.

I know God will continue to help these girls. I pray everything will work for their good.
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Dawn Mackey Young

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As much as we want to help, if the girls don't come, the $38 (which could have helped another child), is wasted, at least in part, right?  Sounds like compassion is doing all it can.  

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