Archived and Closed
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First of all, I'm so sorry for the hurt of losing contact with your friend's correspondent child. I would be so sad to lose contact with any of my children; the Lord so builds them into our hearts!
There are a few things to take into account, however. Since the child's financial sponsor was unable to continue supporting the child, Compassion will be beginning the process of seeking a new sponsor for the child, so the child can continue to participate at his/her local Compassion Center. This will involve building relationship with this new sponsor through letter writing; therefore, other contact could not be maintained.
Secondly, in reference to where you said, "Why should I bother to keep writing if you are simply going to rip the rug out from underneath our relationship one day?" ...Please don't be offended, but think about it this way: our relationships with these children aren't about us. These aren't really 'our children'. They might be gifted to us for a time, for the purpose of pouring truth and love into them. But it's ministry. It's not about what we get out of it. The purpose is to let these children know that they are inestimably valuable, treasured, and loved by us and their Creator. It's about sharing the Gospel. So, if unforeseen circumstances arise, and we feel hurt... quite frankly, too bad. It's about pouring love out on those who Jesus loves. It's part of the privilege.
I hope that helps. :( I'm so sorry for the hurt! How hard it is to love sometimes. My family lost our foster baby a year ago (after having him for a year), and I've never experienced something so difficult. So I definitely understand the ache.
Much love in Jesus,
Your friend should be able to write a final letter to the child via snail mail. If it's marked "Final Letter" on the top it will still go through so she can tell the child goodbye.
It would hurt deeply, I haven't even had a letter yet and I already feel connected to mine, and my (actual) kids are already saying they are like a brother and sister just one they've never met before. We aren't as far in as your friend and it would already feel like a piece of our family was gone if we should lose them for whatever reason. But ministry is a lot of things but easy isn't one of them, also everyone that writes or sponsors a child is a ministry in and of themselves and it's painful at times in any ministry. I would encourage your friend to ask for another child to be the correspondence sponsor. Because she cares so much and those are the people these kids need to have on their side. I am praying for Gods comfort and peace for your friend and that her child gets a new sponsor soon.
I do want to say that I understand this process is difficult and my heart aches for the disappointment you both feel with this program. We certainly understand that our ministry and the programs we have in place are not perfect and we're always looking for ways to improve them. Part of Compassion's ministry is our belief in one to one sponsorship. Our Child Sponsorship Program offers an opportunity to minister directly to a child in the developing world. The sponsor's role isn't simply to help fund programs, it's to participate.This is why we always offer the opportunity to write letters to the child you financially sponsor. If a sponsor chooses not to, it is then that we offer a correspondent for that child because we also know that not everyone is able to give financially and we also want these individuals to have the opportunity to invest in a child's life. When a financial sponsor cancels, we always offer the correspondent sponsor the opportunity to take over the sponsorship so that they're able to maintain that relationship but we know this is not always possible. To be as fair as we can with everyone involved as well as maintaining a one to one relationship with a child, this is the best way we have found of going about this program.
We value the hearts that are invested in writing to these children and we try to explain this program the best way that we're able when a sponsor chooses to correspond with a child. I am very sorry if this was not mentioned to you and your friend when you began corresponding and I have passed this feedback along to my supervisor. I hope you can understand the reasoning behind placing a child not only back up for financial sponsorship but also giving the writing responsibility to the new sponsor as well if the current correspondent is unable to take over the financial responsibility of the child. I assure you that our intention is not to break the relationship you have built with your child and in most situations, you're able to write a final letter to your child to say goodbye and give them final words of encouragement. Most employees in our office also sponsor or correspond with children and have experienced this same heartache. Although this unfortunately does happen in child sponsorship, the fruit of your friend's impact is life changing and her child will have those letters and her words to hang on to for years to come. My hope is that your friend knows how much we value her and that she is welcome to correspond with another child but I understand if this program is not a fit for her at this time. Please send our love and sincerest apologies to your friend for her loss and that I will be praying for her and her child.
First let me say that I am saying a prayer for you and your friend right now! I also understand the heartache of having to say goodbye. I will explain later if you desire to read further. Let me say this also could be a GREAT opportunity for your friend and for others in her sphere of infuence! It may be too late for this child or maybe not. But your friend could also reach out to those in her church and simply ask if someone would be willing to share in the life of a child by paying for the sponsorship while she writes the letters.
We see this often with youth groups who all chip in and then the letter writer corresponds with the child and then shares the letters they get with others that are financially supporting that child. Then the blessings are beyond measure to all involved. It takes courage and vulnerability to approach a pastor or youth leader. But it is really worth it. I hope all who read this will take the challenge to reach out to any and everyone they can to help them maintain the relationships they have built!
It can be a challenge to keep communications flowing between those financially supporting your child but it can be done if you are committed to it.
- Here is my story. We had been sponsoring a child from Thailand for about 12 years when that call came that our child was graduating the Child Development program and that we would need to writer her the FINAL letter! :( We were so sad! Although this is not the same situation as your friend the sadness is the same. But that's not all! We wrote our final letter! Because she graduated my wife and I agreed we would sponsor another child and we did. A little girl with a real sassy cute look about her from Honduras. :) Then the next call came! Our child from Thailand had been accepted into the leadership program at a cost of $300 per month. There was no way we could afford that and still can't. So I set about asking God to intervene and then I asked friends, family, and churches and businesses if they would help me sponsor her so I could maintain the relationship through our letters and God provided! That was almost two years ago and the Lord continues to provide and I am continue to ask others to join me in this effort. I am overwhelmed and blessed by so many who joined me in providing for Wimol. Please view this an an opportunity to expand God's kingdom in ways that only God can work through you and then you will marvel at and praise Him for all good things he brings your way like this.
I am advocate with compassion and have shared this option of correspondence with many but it never occured to me what would happen if the child was no longer funded. Thank you for asking this question because it will help me in future communications.
God Bless you Julie and all the other correspondence sponsors. You are providing hope where there is little or no hope. I encourge you to count the cost! But also look for opportunites share in your ministry to these children!
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