Does this seem right?

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My best friend and I have children in the same Compassion center.  We have grown to love our children deeply do to the letters and simply praying for them.  Recently, my friend was called and told that she could no longer write her correspondent child because the financial sponsor had stopped supporting her child and unless she was willing to take over the financial sponsorship the correspondent sponsorship would be terminated.  I would like to express how very upsetting and wrong this is.  First of all, we are all called to serve where we can, and for some of us it can only be through letters because we do not have the financial resources.  Secondly, I think it is wrong of Compassion to let a correspondent sponsor build a relationship simply to cut it off before the sponsor is ready.  Hours have gone into praying for this child and writing this child.  It really seems cruel and heartless, not compassionate at all.  I hurt for my friend, and I am sorry I asked her to be a part of this ministry now that I know something like this can happen.  I definitely think you need to make it clear to a correspondent sponsor that this could potentially happen.  It makes me fear that this might happen to me as well.  Why should I bother to keep writing if you are simply going to rip the rug out from underneath our relationship one day?
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Julie Slevans

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  • very hurt and disturbed

Posted 5 years ago

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Haley Whelan

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Hello, Julie! 

First of all, I'm so sorry for the hurt of losing contact with your friend's correspondent child. I would be so sad to lose contact with any of my children; the Lord so builds them into our hearts! 

There are a few things to take into account, however. Since the child's financial sponsor was unable to continue supporting the child, Compassion will be beginning the process of seeking a new sponsor for the child, so the child can continue to participate at his/her local Compassion Center. This will involve building relationship with this new sponsor through letter writing; therefore, other contact could not be maintained. 

Secondly, in reference to where you said, "Why should I bother to keep writing if you are simply going to rip the rug out from underneath our relationship one day?" ...Please don't be offended, but think about it this way: our relationships with these children aren't about us. These aren't really 'our children'. They might be gifted to us for a time, for the purpose of pouring truth and love into them. But it's ministry. It's not about what we get out of it. The purpose is to let these children know that they are inestimably valuable, treasured, and loved by us and their Creator. It's about sharing the Gospel. So, if unforeseen circumstances arise, and we feel hurt... quite frankly, too bad. It's about pouring love out on those who Jesus loves. It's part of the privilege. 

I hope that helps. :( I'm so sorry for the hurt! How hard it is to love sometimes. My family lost our foster baby a year ago (after having him for a year), and I've never experienced something so difficult. So I definitely understand the ache. 

Much love in Jesus,
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Debbie Skacel Tovar

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I am a correspondence sponsor to numerous kids, and have been for years.  We have to realize as correspondence sponsors that we are not actually sponsoring this kids, but are providing a service.  Most people make a decision when they are deciding to take correspondence kids whether or not to only take them if they can sponsor them financially if the financial sponsor quits, or if they want to go out on a limb, as I have, knowing that at any time we could lose these kids because the financial sponsor quits.  Unfortunately, there are also the kids that leave the program, and however you lose them, it's always hurts.  I am sure the child has more than enjoyed the time that your friend was able to write to them.  And no matter how a relationship ends, they can always be on their prayer list.  I am so thankful that Compassion has this program, for those of us who are limited in the amount of financial kids we can afford.  They are the only large organization that uses some of their resources to have a program like this where they care enough to let the kids get letters.  It's not a perfect system, but without it, the kids don't get any letters.  Your friend might be able to get a relative or a friend to sponsor the child with the idea that she would still be able to write.  I also assume this is why this program isn't 'advertised' so that people will know what the risks are of getting into this kind of writing relationship, and knowing that it could end just when you wish it wouldn't.

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