Haven't written my children since January when my fiancee died... how do i pick things back up with them?

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My fiancee died quite unexpectedly this January and I have not written to my kids since then.  I really want to reach out to them but feel so guilty!  Do i tell them about my loss to try and explain why I haven't been writing?   I want to send them there Christmas letters so bad, but I am not sure what to say.  They are 7and 8.  
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Rachel Larson

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  • guilty

Posted 1 month ago

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Richard Despres

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Dear Rachel. I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't beat yourself up over not writting. You suffered a great loss. Know that most sponsored kids will just be thrilled to hear that you are ok and wanting to talk to them. Seven and eight is young though unfortunately most of these kids have had to deal with death at these young ages. However if it were me. I would probably let them know I have suffered a great loss in my life and have been in mourning all this time. I have wanted to write but have not been able to do to my sadness. You then can use this loss of a loved one to teach them the strength of Christ and how He can heal all wounds. Then there is Romans 8:28. Let them know you love them and have never stopped praying for them. They will be anxious to pray for you in your time of sadness and more then likely offer you words of encouragement. I have gone long periods of not writting my kids. The guilt can be over whelming at times. Satan will help heap all the guilt he can on us. Nothing he would like better then to keep you down. Turn it over to our Lord. Start writting your kiddos. The sooner the better. You will feel bunches better when you get those letters out. Your sponsored kids will be thrilled to hear from you. You can do this.....
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Christina, Employee

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Rachel, please accept my sincerest condolences. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. I don’t think I could have said it better than Richard. As he said, loss of loved ones is, sadly, a common reality for children living in poverty, and I’m sure your children will understand and just be excited to hear from you. In fact, many of the children in our program love to pray for their sponsors, so I’m sure they would love to know how they can be praying for you. If you are not comfortable explaining why you haven’t written, please know that you do not have to. I think Richard has made some excellent points about allowing God to use this loss as a testimony to His faithfulness and peace through very hard times. I encourage you to write your children and please don’t feel guilty. I cannot possibly understand everything you’ve been through, but I can offer this blog post that has helped me in the past. I hope it will help you as well: blog.compassion.com/stop-feeling-like-a-bad-sponsor-for-not-writing/. Please let us know if there is any way we can be praying for you. We’re so blessed to have you in the Compassion family.